it's been big while again since back from samet trip. my bf just fly back home this morning and i have to face the true. yesterday I was tired and fall as sleep, during the time before my eyes was close I feel he rubbing my back my legs and cover blanket for me. after I woke up i found him downstair sitting waiting for me and having some meal. i walk to him and tell him that "babe u know what I scare the most?" "i scare that when I wake up and will not see u around".

 now i'm back from airport and I choose to not check out, i'm back to the empty room. no more my teddy from now. i just feeling empty all around me. no big bear, no belly that i hold, no strong arms that I just feel in air i still can smell of him.

last night we cried when we talk about family, he cry when mom called last night and said she accept him and I was cried too when we talk about tomorrow that we have to leave. he also called to his mom and she was pretty nice to me as usually. we glad that both of our family get together pretty well. ... all we have to do from now, is just being strong, not give up life. ...we dreamed to have our bear's family. my boy he's would rather to be phor mhee (daddy's bear), i am mhae mhee (mamy's bear) and one day we will have our look mhee (baby's bears) together.

i promise him that i will be strong to be patient to wait for him, to love him. i know I can do.

this is not internet love story ... i use to hate when i saw ppls wrote something about love and gone, I think it's weak, ... but now I feeling it's so crue. i don't wanna be that weaker, i'm back to my guesthouse and promise myself to not fall as sleep cuz I will cry over and over again.

no tear, finally i check out now, .... it was just like what I though lonely feeling i hate!! ... before we apart I said to him "don't cry ok?, cuz I know i will and it will make us sad" he said to me "ok babe, promise to think about good time we had, when i touch u, when I kisses u and how we happy together" tear in eyes ... no word ... i only say "um ...."

last thing I saw, he walk through that door, and said "phom rak khun khon deaw" ...

i hate that song that sang "and it's time to face to true, cuz I rather be with you.............."

dang! me crying like a bitch

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